It's hard to say goodbye :)

It 's been 24 hours since I got the news but I have still not been able to come out of the shock . And the fact that I have to have a happy face is what makes it all the more difficult. Not that I am not happy but the pain of staying away for three long months is more than the happiness of having him explore the world and the bright career prospects that it would bring in the future.

Well if you are still wondering, the news is that Vikram, my beloved husband, has been chosen for an assignment that would require him to be in the US for three months. The recommendation came in from the top boss so it is a matter of honor and pride. And a much deserved break in Vikram's career.

I remember the excitement in his voice when he shared the news with me - I was excited too but my excitement was soon replaced with this strange sadness. Sadness came from the realization that he is going to be away for three months that is 90 days which means 90 x24 hours and that translates into 90x24x60 minutes!! Not that we would have spend every moment together- not at least on the working days, but what about the weekends??

I am not going to have him around for 12 weekends :( Not having him around is going to be sad enough but the thought of friends trying their best to make up for his absence and in the process making it all the more painful made me feel like running away or disappearing into thin air or hiding myself.

Anyways I somehow held myself back and tried to concentrate on my work. Later in the day I messaged him congratulating him and telling him how happy I was with an extra dose of smileys that my Nokia phone facilitated. I wanted to hide my grief.

In the evening when we met I tried to sound super chirpy to make him feel that I am equally happy. But then I realized he is re-considering , I was elated :). We brainstormed and discussed the pros and cons of taking up this assignment. The pros weighed more than the cons!!

We finally decided it makes sense for him to go :)

I slept with that sad feeling with eyes that kept getting misty every now and then. Luckily Vikram didn't realize- thanks to the intrusion by the flu virus (read 'bad cold') into my body!!

In the morning Vikram made breakfast and then dropped me to work - on any other day it would have been a chattering session full of fun, laughter and jokes but today my mind was clouded with thoughts of not having him around to joke with or laugh with.

'It is only three months!', I consoled myself and made a promise to be happy about the new feat in his career and think of exciting options to spend my weekends without him like horse riding, joining a theatre group etc

But the fact remains- it sure is hard to say goodbye:)